Engaged... Again?

One year ago.

One year ago Landon and I were sitting on top of Cascade Golf Course. We were about to leave and I said, "Landon do you think you could speed up your time table a little bit?" I then continued to tell him what I wanted the time table to be. Fast.

Landon did what any good, smart man would do. Ran! Haha, just kidding. He got on his knees and of course there happened to be the perfect ring in his pocket.

In honor of our one year anniversary of being engaged Landon and I went ring shopping. We are going on a cruse in a week, and I don't want to take my perfect ring. We went to Walmart, Claires, Icing, and Target. Every ring was at least 3 sizes to big. Apparently no one carries a size 3 for adults. I was getting very discouraged, but Landon said we could try one more Walmart in Lindon. There was nothing on the ring rack. I asked the lady at the counter if they had any little girl rings. She said, "We have baby ones, but they won't fit."

Well it fit. I found my second perfect ring. No seriously, I'm obsessed with it! Landon proposed to me again. He even had a speech. This time there was no shaking or tears, but a lot more love!

31556926 Seconds

Dear Elder Edwards,

I can't believe you've been gone 1 Year. 1 Year or 52 weeks. 52 Weeks or 365 Days. 365 Days or 8765 Hours. 8765 Hours or 31556926 Seconds. However you put it, its been a while.

Remember when we use to play choo-choo train?

Remember when we would go to the park?

Remember how we graduated Preschool together?

Remember how good we were at raking the leaves... and then jumping in them?

Remember how we played king of the banana boat and Remember how I always won?

Remember Prom?

Remember how I wanted my best friend ever in my senior pictures?

Remember our Arizona trip filled with movies, basketball, movies, food, movies and movies?

Remember Basketball?

Remember who your biggest fans were?

Remember how you are such a dork?

Remember the day you went through the temple?

Remember how I was the only one in the family that couldn't be there because I wasn't endowed yet?

Remember how I can be there now?

Remember how you couldn't be at the biggest/most wonderful day of my life?

Remember how I tried to include you?

Remember how life has changed so much in the last year?

Remember how we've both grown so much?

Remember how I'm so proud of you?

Remember how I love you?

Remember how I always will?

Remember how you're still my favorite little brother and best friend a girl could have?

Do you Remember?

I do. I remember it all!

Only 1 Year left. 1 Year or 52 weeks. 52 Weeks or 365 Days. 365 Days or 8765 Hours. 8765 Hours or 31556926 Seconds. However you put it, it will still be a while.

I love you Scotty!

How Does He Always Know!?

Can I be honest with you for a moment? It mean truly honest???

He drives me crazy!!!

How does he always know? I mean he always knows. It drives me crazy! He has an answer to everything. He has faith in everything. He knows everything. How?

I break my Jaw -- everything will be alright
I find out my computer crashes -- everything will be alright
I lose my phone -- everything will be alright
I need a job -- everything will be alright
I get mad -- everything will be alright
We have no place to live -- everything will be alright
I lose 2,000 dollars -- everything will be alright
I don't feel well -- everything will be alright
I forget to save my 20 page paper -- everything will be alright
I can't make it to work -- everything will be alright
I hurt a friend -- everything will be alright
I burn our dinner -- everything will be alright
I forgot about my meeting --everything will be alright
I run out of gas, not at the gas station -- everything will be alright
I can't keep on top of everything -- everything will be alright

After time...

My jaw healed -- and hey, I lost some weight :)
I didn't need a computer -- and I do more meaningful projects now
I found my phone -- and no one needed me
I got my job back -- and better pay
I calmed down -- and learned through the process
We found a home -- the best apartment ever
I found the 2,000 dollars -- and we put it in our savings
I feel better--and healthier
I recovered the 20 page paper for class--and turned it in on time
I missed work-- but they were fine
I mended the friendship--our friendship grew
I ordered pizza -- it was better anyway
I rescheduled --they forgot too
I got gas -- and met a friend
I got caught up--and did even more

He knows. Every time, he knows. Today it happened again. During my lunch break I made the comment, "We are not going to make it!" He then quickly replied with, "Bec, we are fine. Everything will be alright."

I found out... It was.

Oh how blessed I am to have him. I may not always know that everything will be alright, but I know he knows. Thats alright with me.

I love you Landon!

Curve Balls & a Homerun

I love baseball. It is my favorite sport. I probably went to over 1,000 baseball games when I was little. My brothers all played. Johnny was the amazing catcher. Gary was the trusted hitter. Nate was the speedy reliable outfielder. Scotty was... well scotty was everything--so he played basketball. :) Every single moment that I watched them play, I was proud to say, "Hey... thats my brother." I still am.

From my memory, it seems that the greatest victories always came when a curve ball was thrown.

Life is funny that way isn't it? One moment can be calm, blissful, surreal and then you blink and your world seems upside down. It is not. It just seems that way. All that has happened is your view changed. You took your eye off the ball.

See you have to remember how a curve ball works. It looks like it is coming in straight, but at the last second it curves. Most people swing and miss because they were looking at where they thought the curve ball should have been... instead of where the curve ball was planning to be all from the beginning. Even if it is hard sometimes you can't forget to keep your eye on the ball. In the end it is not how the ball comes over the plate, it is how you connect with it that matters.

I had a lot of curve balls thrown at me today. I swung at all of them... I never connected. About 10 minutes ago a good friend of mine called and said she was really sick and was flying home to see a doctor. All of a sudden I realized something, I had taken my eye off the ball.

Today I forgot that I have a beautiful home to keep us warm, a wonderful family who supports us and loves us, a great job that provides stability in our lives, enough food to always make us happy and full, the gospel which guides and directs us and an amazing husband. A husband who has fallen asleep on top of his flash cards because after 4 hours of class, 5 hours of work, 4 hours of volunteer, 2 hours of presidency meeting, 2 tests and an hour of study he can't keep his eyes open. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Life is truly wonderful and I am grateful for all of the lessons I am learning.

Tonight I swung. Homerun.