Here is the deal. My emotions are high and strong right now. If I had written this post a couple of hours ago, it may have been different, but thats life right now. I feel like I go from high highs to low lows in minutes.
This week, on top of the Coronavirus, one of my dear friends from my Provo Peaks ward lost her 2 year old little boy in a tragic accident. To top it off, no one could come to the funeral. They did the funeral with their little family and their parents. That sweet boy. That sweet family.
All the missionaries coming home and ending their missions so suddenly. I love you Rachel!!!
All the temples being shut down and the young couples who have to decide to wait or get married civilly (both are 100% okay, but no one wanted this reality).
And tonight we got news that some of our favorite people ever are getting a divorce. A divorce. I love them and their family so much. And my heart aches aches aches.
Add that to all of the really really really hard realities of whats happening right now. Our world is so different. I miss what life was 3 weeks ago. I'm heart broken for all my people who are stressed and worried about their finances. I am heart broken for all the people who are stressed and worried about their health. I'm heart broken for all the deaths.
Races cancelled.
Sports gone.
Graduations skipped.
Quiet Weddings.
Lonely people.
Broken hearts.
This is so much.
Jax found out that school was cancelled til May 1st (lets be honest, its over for the rest of the year.) He started to sob. He may never see his friends in SLC again and thats hitting him. Ty came out and said, "Whats wrong Yaxson"
I told Ty.
Ty looked right at Jax and said, "We can have fun here together."
And I loved ty so so so so so much in that moment.
I'm sorry for the downer of a post this is. But ya know what, this coronavirus sucks. This new worlds sucks. All of these tragic moments feels so much more tragic because they have to be endured in isolation and that sucks too.
And I don't have a lot of silver linings right now.
Sometimes I do.
Sometimes I don't.
Thats how it is.
With that, I guess i'll leave with the six things this week that didn't totally suck:
- Landon and I started watching all the Marvel movies
- The boys are best friends and i'm so grateful they have each other
- Our garbage-filled-cat-infested-yucky-little-back-semi-green-mostly-mud-yard (yes i'm finally grateful for that little space)
- Driving to the Logan Temple today
- ENOS.
This week, Enos brought his A game. And all we focused this week was prayer. We prayed for ourself. We prayed for all the people we could list on a large white piece of paper. We prayed silently. We prayed out loud. We prayed. And I prayed. And this week I prayed more than normal, and I felt God more than normal. And that did not suck.
Will life ever feel normal again? I don't know anymore.
The End.
PS: Landon ran a marathon. That was a fun morning, doing something different
PPS: I HATE the word "suck".
