I'm Sorry!

Don't judge me. I've posted so many pictures lately. I'm just starting to get a little sentimental. I have a constant pit in my stomach and a little ache in my heart because we leave in 12 days. TWELVE DAYS!!! Don't get me wrong, i'm soooooooooooooo excited to start this adventure with Landon. But I never could have imagined in a million years how much my heart would break saying goodbye to my home and family. Who knows... we may never live in Utah again. I've posted pictures from the Woolf's camera and also my mom's camera. I guess its only fitting to post from my camera. 

So without further adieu... we go back to May...  

My Life With An 8 Month Old

8 month old Jaxson is my favorite stage so far. Just in the last two weeks he has become the easiest baby on the face of the planet. Seriously!

6:30-7:00am: Jaxson wakes up. (He just started sleeping an hour longer. I can tell you the difference 6:45 makes compared to 5:45).
7:00am: Breakfast in bed with mommy and daddy! I give him 5oz and lay him inbetween the two of us. He lets us know when he is done with a hard wack on the face with his bottle. 

7:15-8:00am: Jaxson and I play. He just started to crawl so we play hide and seek and race to the ball. Jax's favorite toys are ping pong balls. Really any ball he loves. But its ping pong balls that he can play with for hours!

8:00am-8:30: Breakfast is served. He eats little pieces of bread while I prepare him some of my homemade baby food. I just bake or boil the fruits and veggies. Then blend them up. Then add some spices. His favorites are pears w/cinnamon and Sweet Potatoes. He also loves his banana avocado yogurt breakfast. He still hasn't started teething so I can't give him as many chunks as he would like but hopefully soon.

8:30-9:30: Play some more. I take him jogging on my jogging stroller sometimes and other times we just go for a walk. Since i'm at the grandparents a lot of time my and mom just play with him some more. He loves it.

9:30-11:00: NAP TIME. Mommy hangs out with family/cleans/reads/gets ready for the day.

11:00: I wake him up. And... yep you got it... we play some more. He also just learned how to go from crawling to sitting up. So thats really fun for him.

12:00-12:25: I hold him in the rocking chair while I feed him

12:25-1:00: More Play time. This child has the life, lets be honest.

1:00-1:25: Lunch is served. I'm trying to get him to like green beans. So far i've tried regular old green beans and green beans with garlic. Both utter failures. A lot of times i' also give a few left overs. Like mashed potatoes. Oh how he loves mashed potatoes.

1:25-2:00: This is probably he 1 of 2 fussy stages. He generally does pretty well. But I do tend to hold him more during this time. He is just tired. So when we finally make it to 2:00...

2:00: NAP TIME

2:00-3:30: I just hang out. Yep my life is so easy right now. I think when we're not living with 10 other people i'll actually get some productive things done. But not today and not for 20 more days. Nope. For the next 20 days we will play play play!

3:30: I wake him up

3:30-5:45: Is normally when I do all my errands. Jaxson is an angel child in the store. I don't believe i've ever been with him when he has cried in a store. He is MESMERIZED  by people. MESMERIZED by light. MESMERIZED by stuff. He just talks and yells and squeals. And I love it. Unless we're in a bank... signing up for a checking account... and he squeals... then you get strange looks.

BED TIME ROUTINE
5:45-6:10: Bath time
6:10-6:30: Feed him milk
6:30-6:40: Feed him some yummy fruits and veggies
6:40-6:55: Let him play and crawl and get his last bit of energy out.
6:55-7:00: Family Prayer, Silent night, Hugs from mom and dad,
and lay him in his crib! We lay him in his crib wide awake and he doesn't even cry anymore. It is AWESOME!!!! He just quietly tosses and turns until he is ready to go to sleep. Love it.

7:00-7:00: SLEEP! He wakes up at least once still, but he is doing LOADS LOADS better at sleeping.

And thats that. I'm loving him right now. I'm loving LOVING being a mom right now. And I think its a good thing that I wrote down his schedule because... it looks like it might be changing. Since he has been in his crib for 30 minutes and still hasn't fallen asleep. Just when you think you get the hang of it... they let you know... "NOPE MOM! Keep trying ;)!"

I. LOVE. IT.

Happy Tuesday

P.S. Its now Wednesday... and he refused to take his naps yesterday and woke up at 5:45 morning ;). So much for my easiest child on the face of the planet post!

A Little More Real

Tonight, at 10:33 PM, I booked a one way ticket. Yep. A true one way ticket. AHH!!!!!!!!!!

Provo has been my home for almost 24 years. Provo will always be my home. But, there is a very real possibility that I will never live in Provo or Utah again.

Crazy. I feel like a grown up. The fact that i'm leaving my home, my mom, my family, my little world... became a little more real to me tonight. And it made me a little sad! Less then seven weeks and we're off. Off on such a fun adventure--not knowing where we will end up for at least 10 more years.

Indiana... HERE WE COME!!!!

To Sleep or Not To Sleep

(Sidenote: Don't Judge... We're not going private. Basketcase? Maybe;)!) 

Jax is 7 months old. Crazy. He is the most wonderful, sweetest, cutest, awesomest, joyfulest, bestest part of my whole day. A combination of him and Landon... game over... don't even try to get my attention, because you won't get it. I'm all theirs and happily too.

Jax and I have traveled an awful lot in his short 7 months of life. Here is our itinerary

• November 23-27: Park City with the Woolfs 
• December 17-January 1: My parents home for Christmas 
• January 18-22: Arizona to Surprise Landon's mom 
• January 25-29: Indiana to be with Johnny and Marie (Jax & I)
• We Moved to parents basement in Feberuary
• March 1-11: Arizona to be with the Landon's Siblings while parents went on a cruise (Jax & I)
• April 10-14: Indiana for second look weekend for medical school 
• April 15: Chicago to visit Gary and help pick out a wedding ring for his amazing finance Jacqueline
• April 23-29: Texas to look at that medical school (We could NOT decide) (P.S. We got into The Ohio State University after we decided on Indiana. Really???? Ha :)... Oh well... we still decided on Indiana) 
•  We're moving right now... (Dont. Ask. Why ;)!)
• And... We will move to Indiana sometime in July

  Jaxson has...

• traveled about 80 hours in the car 
• been in 8 different states 
  
• been on 7 different airplanes 
• stayed in 6 different hotels 
• stayed at 4 different homes 
• lived in 3 diffenet places 
• been a trooper a million and a million times over 

The Longest Jaxson has ever been in one place is the first 5 weeks of his life. And that will hold true until we actually move to our apartment in Indiana when he is almost 9 months old. Poor child has no sense of stability. Besides me of course which totally shows and I secretly totally love it. I've learned some pretty amazing techniques while traveling. I've also learned these four words, "JUST LET IT GO!!!" And I've had to do that A. LOT. I think i've tried to sleep train Jax about.... hmmmm.... 10 BAjillion times. Haha and I thought I was going to be all slick and one of those moms whose baby slept through the night at 3 months. \"Said the Liar..." "Not" (<--That was for Nate). Nope. Thats not me... crazy me thinking that was actually up to me. Ha ;)


So to get to the point. When I try to let Jax cry it out, there is always someone who gives me that look(or that noise)... that look... that look makes me feel like the worst mom in the whole world. Oh how I hate that look/noise. And how I wish I could just ignore it. Note to anyone that is around me while i'm letting my baby cry it out... don't tell me what you think... its already hard enough on me already. Believe me I hate it 100X more then you do... so keep youre mouth and even eyes if need be closed please. :) CAPEESH?
When I just go get him and feed him and put him back to bed, then he wakes up more at night. Every baby is different and every parent is different. There are books that preach the cry-it-out and books the preach the go and get. I asked my Dr. once what he thought about Jax's lack of sleep... his comment, "Once you become a mom... you'll never sleep again." Thanks Doc. My favorite Jenelle has helped me many of times, but Jaxson's situation is still so different. So.... I will keep trying.  Trying to go off of what I feel. Some nights I feel like, "NOPE i'm not letting him cry." And other nights I feel like... "Sorry bud... I love you more then life, but you gotta do this one on your own." 


Which... is why I wrote this post. I came home from the temple at 10:17 and of course Jax woke up. I fed him, but he wasn't having the going back to sleep thing, so I laid him in his crib at 11:00. I decided--after 2 melt downs--that I would just type it out. So I started typing at 11:25 and I believe at about the "BAjillion" he stopped crying ;)! So... phew. Thats all. Thanks for listening. 

Tonight... Jax chose TO SLEEP :)!

Have a great Sunday 

2 Happy Surprises

1. Three nights ago, I put Jax to bed at 7:00 p.m. and didn't hear a peep until 5:47 a.m. What?!? 
2. Put Jax down for a nap at 1:30 p.m. today. Layed down at 2:15 p.m.. I woke up at 3:38 p.m. to a still sleeping baby! Again I say... What?

Could this be the start of something new? Possibly! :) 

Up next: 

1. Jaxson is  a traveling machine... 7 states in 3 months

2. I think we almost, probably, so closely we are to making a decision of were to spend the next 4 years! Yay!!!

HAPPY SUNDAY

To Choose Happiness

My mom gave me Heaven is Here for Easter.

I just finished it this morning while our beautiful baby boy was/still is sleeping. I am humbled. The book was a very spiritual experience for me. I want to hold on to the feeling I have right now, forever. The spirit is close. I hope to create a home where the spirit can always be close.

When Landon & I first started dating we were talking about some of our favorite topics in church lessons. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were on University Avenue passing by my Provo High School. Costa Vida was to our right.

"Trials." I blurted out. "Yes. I loved to talk about trials and overcoming trials, and enduring trials." The love for this topic had come from my experiences a few years prior. My senior year of high school was and forever will be the darkest time in my life. When Landon and I started our courtship, I was still healing from the scars I had gained from that year. So trials was my answer.

I remember the long an awkward pause when I said that. Almost as if Landon didn't approve. He nodded his head and said interesting, then changed the subject to exercising. (Yes we were in the "lets get to know each other so we can get married" stage.)

Over the past 3 years, i've learned to understand why Landon paused. Landon is an ever optimistic person. He believes, truly believes, that happiness is always attainable. He gets this from his mother. Who--in my observations--hasn't been without a smile from the first day we met. I'm happy to report that Landon and his mother have rubbed off on me. I've always been a happy person, but they made me want to be even more happy.

In this book, Stephanie states,

"At first I thought stubbornly that the only thing that would make me happy was for life to look like it did before the accident. But no one could give that to me, and no one else could make me happy. Happiness was my choice, and though it is hard won, I am the only person who can stand in the way of it. As I gradually accepted my responsibility to choose happiness every day, I rediscovered the beautiful life I had always wanted. I still had to remind myself to choose happiness almost every morning when I wake up in pain, and I expect I will need reminding throughout my life, but the amazing thing is the more I make the choice to see and feel joy, the more joy there is to see and to feel."

I believe this. It is a choice. I am grateful for yet another testament of it. And coming from someone that had so much to be unhappy about I think to myself, "If she can do it, I can."

In a world that is engulfed in a swirl a negativity and complaints. I hope I can join the Landon's, Trudy's, and Stephanie's with positivity and hope. Life doesn't have to be bleak. Day to day tasks don't need to be burdens. It is all a choice. And I am choosing to celebrate every moment.

I will choose to be happy.

Thank you Stephanie Nielson for your inspiring story.

Happiest Part of My Day

It was almost 3 years ago when my jaw was accidentally broken by the Dr. taking out my wisdom teeth. Since he got 2 out before the infamous break, I still needed to get the other two out.

Well, I am happy to report that I am going in tomorrow at 10:00am. Awesome. On top of that, my front tooth has been in pain all week. When I went to the dentist yesterday he said to me, "Two Words Becca. Root. Canal." Lovely. SOOO... today I had a root canal and tomorrow i'm losing my wise teeth. Here is the happy part...

My mom watched Jaxson while Landon took me to get the root canal. We were gone for two and a half hours. When we got home, we opened the car door and we could hear Jax's screams from outside AND across the street. I ran inside. I knew he was going to be cranky while we were gone because he didn't sleep well last night, but I didn't expect him to be THAT cranky.

Within 1 minute of holding my precious baby boy, he stopped crying. Stopped. STOPPED. He even started smiling a little. People tried to take him back, but he held onto me as tight as his little hands could hold. And thats when it hit me and thats when I started to cry.

Jaxson knows I am his mommy.

There are many moments that I look forward to as a mom. But this one... this one was on the top of the list.

Yes baby Jax, I am your mommy. And i'll be your mommy forever!!!!!!

Happy Pictures

We have a 6 month old. Landon graduated. We moved into my parents basement. Leaving our first home was heart breaking, but this was the right decision. We visited Johnny & Marie in Indiana. We went to Arizona. Landon and my mom went skiing. Ive never, ever been happier.

Happy We Have Options

So... we feel so blessed to have been accepted into 4 medical schools and still have 2 schools to hear from. Most days we really just feel lucky! However, there is this pressure now of deciding where to go--the RIGHT place to go. Of course the decision will ultimately be made between The Lord, Landon and I... BUT out of curiosity.... WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

1. A school that's Ranked in the top 40. That may help us get into the a better residency!
2. A school 30 minutes away from Landon's family.
3. A school located in a Big Fun Exciting City.
3. A school that offered us a Full-Tuition Scholarship for 4 years (not ranked)

Any thoughts?

P.S. We don't need to make a decision until May 15th

Be Active! 3 Months! Happy!

The 2nd Counselor in our Stake Presidency talked a little bit about the Primary Elections on Sunday. With one of the biggest elections in this nations history, there is an LDS man--Mitt Romney--running. Of course, I don't have to tell any of you that, i'm sure you already know.

BUT with that thought... President Christensen talked about how now more then ever, as Latter Day Saints, we must be active in our religion and not passive. He mentioned using blogs as a way to be an active LDS. So here I am being active.

I don't know a lot. But this is what I DO know:

• I love my family.
• I love being a wife to Landon.
• I love Landon!
• I love being a mom.
• I love Jaxson.
• I love being a member of the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
• I believe that it is the only true gospel on the earth.
• I believe it is the whole reason Landon and I are so happy.
• I believe it brings comfort, peace, and joy in times of stress, trials and hardships (and in times of happiness too).
• It is my motivation during the day to work harder, be better, and smile more.
• I believe in the atonement and I know it happened!
• I believe that one day Christ will come again
• I believe that we will be judged and will have to opportunity, if we live worthily, to live happy eternally.
• And I HOPE that I can do everything in my power to make sure me and the rest of my family and loved ones can be together, forever, in happiness!

Just a few more updates:

• Jaxson's 3 month appointment= 15lbs, 24.5 inchs long, a 41cm head
• We went to Arizona to visit Landon's family and Indiana to visit Johnny's family.
• We've been accepted into 4 schools and are waiting to here from 2
• We don't know where we're going yet
• I still love every second of being a mom
• Landon is ready to graduate
• We. Are. Happy.

Happy Wednesday!