A Pretty Sweet Deal

This week felt like a month. And its weeks like this I am MOST grateful for this blog. Because even though it was long and depleating and exhausting, I have a enough pictures as evidence that it was also happy and productive and worth it. 

Lando: 

Worked 70 hours in 5 days and thankfully had the weekend to recoup. On Saturday he ran 5 miles, went to Jaxsons baseball game, got us lunch and took us to the park. While Luke slept the four of us had the whole play ground to ourselves. We spent the whole hour with the boys just doing exactly what they needed and wanted. It felt rejuvenating to be intentionally parenting TOGETHER. And we didnt even snap a picture, proof we were really with the boys. When he got home he crashed on the floor for an hour. Then he read Harry Potter with Jax, colored with Ty, took me on a date and ended the night cleaning the LDS Conference Center with his mom. #nailedit 

Becs: 

I've been listening to the podcast 3 in 30 and LOOOVVE it. (Thanks Natalie for the recommendation). I've been trying to focus on some things I do well as a mother instead of the many things I don't do particularly well like.... 

.... staying calm in frustrating situations..... ahem

..... limiting screen time.... ahem

... bathing Luke.... ahem

 .....playing pretend with Ty.... ahem

....coaching Jax through his emotions....ahem. 

Here are some things I think I do well

Developing routines and having traditions 

Providing my kids opportunities and experiences

Maintaining and organizing and tidying the world around them 

Recognizing and discerning personalities, abilities, and attributes in my boys

Documenting our families life 

What I loved about this particular podcast is that it also talked about how we need to celebrate the things other moms do well and not let that make us feel bad about ourselves. I could always be better at that. I'm actually really good at celebrating what other moms do well, because i'm surrounded by A LOT of cool mommas. But I could do better at not getting down on myself for the weaknesses I do have.

Honestly my kids are kind of lucky to have me. And even though I know they watch too much TV, I don't read to them enough, they have too much sugar, and they aren't parented by a perfectly calm patient mother, I still think they have a pretty sweet deal. 

My new favorite quote is "Success isn't the absence of failure, but going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm." Elder Robbins 

As you can tell, my brain is all over the place. I blame three adorable little boys. I'm constantly trying to engage my mind in ways that are helpful and meaningful to me and then apparently I write about them here or in my journal.  #theraputic. Be grateful I don't put ALL of my thoughts on the blog ;). 

Jax: 

He LOVED swim lessons with the fetzer family. Honestly he'd love doing anything with the Fetzers. He also filled his days with Sorry, Where's Waldo, soccer, baseball, cousins and THE PIANO. (Oh and lots of movies.) Jaxson loves to learn so much. And he is really good at learning. He also loves to compete AND he is also a perfectionist. So sometimes he gets soooo excited about learning something new (Skip-Bo) and he gets soooooo excited about playing that game (with anyone that will play with him) and then his dad tells him he's playing it wrong.... he kind of loses it. But don't worry, after about 5 minutes of tears and big strong passionate emotions, we googled and read the entire Phase 10 rule book. This kid follows the rules. At his baseball game a kid threw the ball over his head and it went into the street. Well actually it rolled right up against the curb. But Jaxson wouldn't go near that curb. Because we've taught him that when a ball rolls into the street to wait for an adult for help. (Don't worry the other 6 year old just ran up to the curb and grabbed the ball). He is definitely a letter of the law kind of guy. So because of this, when he does make a mistake, he kind of spins out of control. I've been trying really hard to point out the mistakes I make so that he see's that even his 29 year old mom makes mistakes and is still learning. For example, Hypothetically if on a random friday night when I lose my cool and throw Jaxson in the bathtub and the hair clippers in the garbage can, I apologize, say I made a mistake and i'm still learning how to be patient and calm, and then take the boys out for pizza and cookies. Hypothetically of course ;). 

Ty ty: 

I've noticed recently how much Ty loves Luke. He didn't really show Luke much attention at first, big change for a little dude. But now, any second he gets to be with him, he takes it. I've always felt that Ty would connect his siblings all together. Between his goofiness and his love for family and his sensitivity to emotions, he just going to be good at building a relationship with each on of his siblings. I was really impressed with how well Ty did in swim lessons. The first day he was fairly shy and verrrry determined to do the exact opposite of what they were asking him to do, but by day four he was jumping in and have a grand time. He even went down the big huge giant purple slide by himself. He was really nervous, but I asked if I could help set him down over the spraying water and I he let me and he flew like batmen. This little dude is definitely the spirit of the law kind of guy. And i'm learning more and more that honestly, some of my rules are dumb. And though I value obedience and respect and I plan on teaching Ty that. If its not dangerous, immoral or illegal.... its probably okay. I'm grateful to BOTH Ty and Jax for making me a better person. I want to be more like BOTH of them every day. 

Lukester: 

Mannnnn!!!!! I love nicknames so much, and still haven't found one for him. I'm working on it. Except not really. Someone give me some ideas. This happy child is so talkative lately. He is also needing naps in his crib/bassinet more than out and about. Boo! But yay at the same time. One more month of flexibility and then Jax will head to school and his sleeping routine will begin hard core. Luke eats his hands. His laugh sounds like he is in pain. He talks like crazy when he's laying on his back. Oh AND his NEW social security card came in the mail. Luke Gary Woolf. I swear. Boys names about did me in this time around. 

I LOVE THIS GIRL SOOOO MUCH!!!!

These two buddies. Love them. 

Landon(From BYUSA days) and Landon(From marriage). Good guys right here. 

MY heart could barely contain this moment. 

This picture makes me laugh so much. Whats Luke thinking right here?? 

He wanted a Tee to hit his ball on, so he made one. 

This woman is amazing. I have always walked away more uplifted and more motivated to be better and more positive after being with her. I was BEYOND thankful she visited us. She is incredibly strong and faithful and intelligent and hard working. I want to be more like her one day. Love you Adriana. Also my boys LOVE her boys. 

They've been working in our apartment so one day we went down to Nate & Sarah's for a few hours. I love them and the cousins have the best time together, I just didn't happen to snap a picture of them playing because me, Nate and Sarah were busy talking about life. They always make me feel so much better about myself. I love and admire them so much. 

Peaches, President Nelson, and a quiet house because Hunter came and took the boys to the park. We are going to miss Greta and i'm feeling extremely grateful I found Hunter as our new nannying!!! 

I assure you a three year old DID NOT grab this sound machine we've had for the last 6 years and throw it on the ground because he was really angry. It mush of just accidentally tipped over ;). 

I love how great Aunt Lacey is at playing with Jaxson. I also love just talking to her. She is another person that always makes me feel better about myself. She's also really good at just calming my crazy emotions down. She could probably solve all my problems if I was brave enough to open that can of worms ;). She is the BEST!!!! 

And then there is Mummy who loves all of us so much and is so understanding and the cutest grandma to her grandkids. Also, Jax got a new haircut that he picked out all by himself. #hardpart.

Our Beautiful Chaos

Lando: 

He started Liver transplant this week. He did a transplant late Tuesday night. I think it finished up around 2:00am. He LOVES his program. I feel like I always say that. He loves the people he works with. He feels like apart of a team. He was so isolated in Medical School. His program director got him excited about journaling (what the?????? I've been journaling my ENTIRE life, but apparently i'm not cool enough to inspire my own husband to actually do it ;).) He bought a journal and a fountain pen on our date this week. He took Jax to a professional golf tournament on Saturday. He took us to the farmers market on Friday. He got us out today up to Little Dell Reservoir.  I'm grateful he gets us out. 

Becs: 

The further I get post Luke the more I realize how depressed I was post Ty. Don't get me wrong, I have really exhausting and discouraging moments, even days. But almost always go to bed happy. And I always wake up happy and ready to meet the day head on. Gosh that was not the case even a year ago. I seriously would go to bed emotionless and wake up ready to put the kids back in bed. Depression is SO real. I'm so happy to be in a different place than I once was. I pray for anyone that is struggling with it can feel peace and comfort and and hope and love right now. 

I talked to so many of my favorite mommas this week. That was super rejuvenating. I also spent a significant amount of time in prayer, in conversation, in the scriptures, in books and with Ty--trying to learn more about Ty and who he is. I had this paradigm shift this week with him. I can only thank my Heavenly Father for the shift. But I see EVERY thing different now. Mothering with God is such a special privilege. And as much work as it is, I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else (most days ;)). 

Jax: 

Spent almost every moment that he was in our apartment running back and forth kicking the soccer ball. It didn't matter what was in his way, he'd still dribble it back and forth our family room/kitchen. Jax is constantly thinking and learning and talking. He can talk your ear off. I think today he talked to Landon for at least 2 hours straight. He went from the World Cup, to strategy in Rumikube, to why he wouldn't want to live in New Zealand, to why Austrialia would be even worse (#poisonsnakes #poisonspiders), to why he was losing in Sorry, to all the things he wants to become--Scientist, cook, and a writer "But mostly a scientist", back to the ranking of the teams in the World Cup and why "Russia should for sure be ranked higher than 69 dad. Right? I mean they beat Spain and Saudi Arabia. And they weren't even suppose to play in the world cup dad. It is just because the World Cup was there. Right dad?", to how he wonders what is going to happen to Harry Potter and why Harry shouldn't have gone to Hogsmede because he wasn't allowed....... I mean thats not even all of it. I seriously went and took a 40 minute nap and Jax was talking and when I woke up, Jax was still talking. The kid has so many facts and so much knowledge in his mind. Its insane. Even something little like he knows the name of almost every disney song. Not just which movie the song belongs to, but the actual accurate name. He is amazing. And his mind needs so much to keep him occupied. Which is why I finally got him a piano and hopefully a basketball hoop in the future. 

Ty: 

This kid is incredible. He went from being batman, to Dash, to ninja, to PJ Baurnum, back to batman almost every day. He created costumes for each character and then had me help him get everything on. But don't worry, he only wore them for about 20 minutes before he was ready to become someone else. He has such an imagination! And it blows my mind what he can come up with and do and create. Seriously, most of my job is just to apply the tape or tie the knot, OR put the long avocado socks under his sweats and the black short socks over those long socks so that you can't see the little green. BECAUSE.... "batman is ALL black mom". Mind you, its like 85 degress in our apartment. He build a digger on Saturday with the boxes left over from the piano and things he could find around the house. I love how he says, "I have an idea mom" or "I show ya mom" or "Just try mom". He truly believes anything can be done. And he is driven enough to get it done. I'll never forget on Monday when he created a fort by himself, but the top part wasn't covered because part of the fort was backed up against two walls with nothing to hang something on. He kept saying "just try mom. Just try and make it work mom. Its not ready yet. We need something." I finally said, "Ty you CAN NOT cover this part." He responded, "FINE. I show ya." And while I was finishing breakfast (yes this was only at 8:15 in the morning.) I heard a "SEE mom. I showed you" and he had figured out how to cover it by balancing two pillows against each other. Whatever dude. I'm learning that I need to believe things can work with him and that not wanting to do something isn't a good enough reason to not do it. Like my mom keeps reminding me, "If its not dangerous, let him/help him do it." #chaos. 

Luke: 

HE IS OFFICALLY NAMED LUKE. Note to self: Don't name your baby the wrong name, its annoying to change it. 

Gosh this boy is our calm in all the chaos. With landon being gone 70+ hours a week, jaxson talking and telling me all the cool things he is constantly learning and thinking about 70+ hours a week, and ty creating and dreaming 70+ hours a week I sometimes start to go a little BAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And then I look at Luke and he looks back at me and smiles and for a moment he calms me down and helps me see the beauty in our life. I'm telling you, he has this special spirit about him. He is my constant reminder every single day that God LOVES me and loves my boys and believes in me. Just one little example: there was one night I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. The house was a creative disaster, I had lost my cool one too many times, I was tired and hungry, Ty was still awake, and Landon wasn't coming home. I was overwhelmed and feeling very alone. I finished feeding Luke and layed him on the couch. I closed my eyes, started to cry a little and accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up and hour later I looked over and Luke had fallen asleep too. With a little smile on his face. No rocking, no swaddling, no singing, no diaper change. I just looked at him with peace and I could here his little spirit say to me, "Its okay mom. You're doing good. We love you." Gosh we love this boy!!!!!!! 

Grumps got in an accident this week. So many tender mercies along the way for him to be doing so well. We love this man! 

PEACH SEASON!!!!!!!!! Jax & Ty had four dollars at the farmers market. Ty got chocolate ice cream Jax got preaches #neverbeenprouder.

Jax was in charge of FHE this week and wanted to play soccer with the Fetzer family. It was a blast.

I love all the Fetzers so so much!!!! Some of the most wonderful people I know. Sarah is throwing a rock to the moon here and ty is enthralled.

Oh this adorable little face. I just want to eat him up!!!!!! 

We got together with the Naylor bunch!!!! Its crazy that we now have 7 kids between us and 6 boys. It was good to see Summer and i'm so happy for their family and where they are now. Thanks for taking the time to see us Summer!!!! My boys had a blast with your boys!!! My favorite thing about Summer is that she is always trying to be better. They will do great things in Las Vegas!! 

"Put tape on me mom! Its to protect me from the lasers" (Insert question "Is this dangerouse? NO. Okay i'll put tape all over you.) He even had some on his arms. One used to spray water from his arms, and one used to control his rocket near by. Yes it hurt when I ripped them all off, BUT I really think that he thought it was worth it haha. 

He needed his legs to be covered like Dash's legs are covered. 

This picture made me soooo happy. This is a 5 mile hike and I always knew my mom would love it so much. And my dad was able to do it (with significant pain afterwards). BUT they did it. Their commitment to each other is absolutely inspiring and the greatest gift they ever gave me. 

You guys, I LOOOOVE him so much! 

Some meals we love and our kids don't. Other meals they love and we don't. But we are learning to compromise.  

Jax: "Mom do you want to battle with me. Your stuff is by the door." We battled, I lost ;). 

Coach pitch!!! Jax got 4 strong hits! 

Oh my goodness!!!!! WE LOVE GRETA SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I cried this week realizing she'll be leaving. But I'm so grateful shes been apart of our family the last year. She has been such a blessing to us!