Here is Landon’s journal entry from his race this weekend. Updates of the family are below:
Last Man Standing
I am currently sitting in the anesthesia office. It is 7:30 am. I will shortly be fielding calls to be present for the induction of anesthesia in multiple operating rooms.
My feet hurt worse today than they did yesterday.
Today may be more challenging than this weekend.
But I feel full. This was an event I didn’t really prepare for, outside my normal exercise routine. Leading up to it I wasn’t an invested as I have been in previous challenges or races.
But with each hour, and each lap, that changed.
As soon as we toed the line my competitive instincts began to flicker to life. I immediately went into strategy mode. I began taking note of who was around me, and who I thought I’d be competing with come Sunday.
And then we settled in and enjoyed several hours of walking.
Chad, my friend who invited me to join him on this Misogi, had also invited another friend, Aaron. We spent 12 hours walking and talking and listening to the fall of our feet. Back at camp we were met by various combinations of our families which just made that first day a lot of fun. It felt communal.
At 13 hours to route changed slightly as we would now be walking in the dark. Aaron decided he had gone as far as he could and bowed out. I changed from my trusty Luna sandals to my Altra trail runners to have a little more cushion as we would now be walking primarily on asphalt.
The night introduced some new challenges. The route became an out-and-back. With night set in there was no longer any landscape to take note of. We were walking on a harder surface. All of these factors made the 12 hours at night a mental challenge as much as anything. There was a monotony to the laps that tried our will.
Additionally, sometime in the morning hours my change of shoes began creating some blisters on the bottom of my feet. While they would never become limiting, the pain was present for my last 8-9 hours.
Becca and the boys hung out until almost midnight. Additionally, a neighborhood of people came and paid their respects (in retrospect perhaps they did think I was dying). The Peterson’s, the Dittos, the Cobb’s, Jacob and Bodie. On top of that I had the Woolfpack and the Edwards Clan and the several 6th Ward members following along from distance. I was touched by their interest. I gained a lot of motivation from their love.
Becca especially showed her true nature. She is generous and supportive to a fault. She looked genuinely happy being there for me, and “hosting” everyone else that came to visit. As a write this now I once again get emotional thinking about what she means to me. I don’t have the words.
The night moved along and we ticked off the miles. The moon came out. We walked most of the night 12 without headlamps.
At 24 hours our numbers shrunk to six. Chad reached his goal and headed home.
We then switched back to the trail. And the sun came out. In my mind I said to myself, “now the race starts.”
I was all-in at this point. I completed my 24th lap 3 or four minutes faster than normal to send a message. I stayed light on my feet in camp. I chapped and cheered for the other racers. I smiled.
Yes I began playing some mind games. Yes I was competing. But I was also genuinely happy. It had begun to hurt. Things that matter are hard. They often have the potential to hurt. The pain was a reminder that I cared. Honestly, the pain fueled me. It made it worth it. It made me happy.
After 27 hours we were three.
After 28 we were 2.
It was now noon on Sunday. It was pushing 90 degrees. My feet hurt. I know had blisters and that they had popped. I wrapped my feet in duct tape and that relieved some pressure. I knew I still had a lot left in the tank. I knew I wasn’t going to stop. I knew I was going to win.
What I didn’t know what how long I would be walking.
That weight of the unknown, that burden of certainty, is what I think pushed this to a thoroughly meaningful Misogi.
During hour 30 I broke down and cried. Not from the pain or the sleep deprivation or the heat or the fatigue or the unknown duration of this event.
But perhaps because of it.
All of those challenges came together for me. They did something to my mind and perhaps my soul.
I had a moment of clarity. It was as though all the “thin things” I am so commonly in the “thick of” no longer existed. All I became aware of was what I truly value. Becca. My boys. All the people that had come to see me. All the people texting me and following along.
I was hit with a wave of gratitude that produced tears. Caffeine and nerds clusters fueled tears.
For most of that loop, I don’t think I felt the ground.
I beat my last competitor by 5 minutes on loop 30. I knew I was stronger. I knew she was getting close. But man Kelly was tough. She refused to show me her hurting. She played the same games as me; leaving her pack at the start line, asking me how long I was going to go, telling me she had “several loops left,” etc.
We toed the line for 31, starter said “go,” and Kelly declared, “Landon wins!”
It took me completely by surprise. I shook her hand, told her congrats, and set off. I had to complete one more full lap to officially win.
I immediately texted Becca. The image of my boys seeing me win provided yet another hit of adrenaline. I turned on some “glory-run” songs, cried some more, watched Becca’s/ location to make sure I didn’t beat her to the line, responded to lots of texts from lots of my people, and took one more walk in the woods.
Ty met me with a couple hundred yards to go and we sprinted to the line. I collected my shirt. And we went home.
The race was a microcosm of what I love about hard things.
I finished and there wasn’t a crowd to cheer me. Everyone else had gone home. It was basically Kelly, the race director, and my family. I didn’t do it for recognition. I did it for me. For my body and mind and soul. And I did it for my boys. And that’s about all that was left at the finish line.
For most of the race I was only racing my self. In reality it wasn’t a race at times(so long as you completed the loop in time). It wasn’t a matter of speed. It was about endurance, grit, stubbornness.
I really didn’t prepare for this event. I didn’t start thinking about or gathering items and food until the day before. It felt really satisfying to be able to do that. My years of training and study made things like anticipating what gear I would want/need, how to pace, nutrition, hydration, even what chair I wanted (shoutout Jason Fowler!) really easy. I really don’t know what I could/could have done differently. Other than bringing otterpops.
I thought a lot about my boys. I loved having them there as much as they were. It was such a lift seeing them. It also provided some serious motivation. I wasn’t going to quit in front of my boys. That simply was not an option.
Some of the greatest advice I’ve ever received is to “show up.” At the end of the day that’s what this was. It became a question of being willing to show up, to the line, and hurt some more.
That’s what my day is today.
That’s what my day will be tomorrow.
I will continue to show up. I will toe the line.
Fortunately for me, my reality is that I have a small army of loving and capable and selfless people toeing the line with me. I’m not in this thing alone. I will never have to be the last man standing
Lando:
Wow! He’s amazing. He did a race this weekend. It was an ultra Ruck race. It started at 8am on Saturday. With about 30 people. It is a last man standing race. So you get a DNF (did not finish) if you weren’t the last man standing. And you get a W if you were. Rucking is hiking with weight so he was carrying 30lbs.
At the top of every hour you start and have to ruck 2.4 miles. You must complete it within the hour. Landon typically completed it within 40 minutes and had 20 minutes to fuel up and rest!
Anyway, his goal was to make it 24 hours and then look around “and make a business decision.” At 24 hours there were still 6 people in it. But he looked around and knew he could win. He was in it to win it at that point.
He was still looking strong at 11pm, and with 3 more people in the competition we decided to head to church!
At 12:00pm, Cori dropped out. Leaving Landon and Kellie. And at 2pm Landon text “BABE! Kellie didn’t start lap 31. If I can finish this, I WIN”
Well we were already on our way!! But we rushed down there to be able to see him cross that finish line!! Gosh so dang proud of him. Also he’s an idiot. THIRTY ONE HOURS. 72.3 miles. He beat the record by 6 laps. I love him haha 🤣
The Peterson’s, Dittos, Cobb’s, Jacob Ramos and Bodie Grangroth came to cheer him on. And then there were SOOOO many people texting me for updates :). Im pretty sure Landon’s dad stayed up all night in FIJI watching the spreadsheet to see if he was still in it. Technology makes everyone feel a little closer.
THE BOYS STARTED SCHOOL THIS WEEK
Jaxson:
Most of his friends are older and in high school. I think he feels a little bummed about that. He also ended up in a math class at Ferris with none of his friends. Which he’s also bummed about. But Jax is not a complainer and an optimist so I don’t hear a lot about it. He fell down the stairs pretty bad and hit his tail bone. So he limped a little this weekend.
Ty:
He always wants to be homeschooled but he finds ways to enjoy school most of the time. His teacher gave the kids a really hard math puzzle. He came home Wednesday and spent the next 5 hours figuring it out. He figured it out while we were all gone to mutual and said he celebrated by running through the house. He was the only student that turned it in the next morning. I read a book called The Explosive Child this week. First off, the kids in that book are EXPLOSIVE. But it did give me some tools that I could use to help parent all my boys. I used them this week and genuinely felt like my patently had shifted and reached a new level.
This is how I summarized the book for Landon
Parenting choices:
Plan A: Impose your will
Plan B: Solve problem collaboratively
Plan C: Drop a given expectation
Good parenting is = working intentionally with what you’ve been dealt with.
Plan B is the ideal when dealing with an explosive child. (even though most parenting books don’t think that parenting should be collaborative. But remember you’re still in control if you’re intentionally using plan B.)
Plan B:
3 Ingredients.
1: Empathy Ingredient (gather info from child)
2: Define the problem Ingredient (communicate your concern or problem)
3: Invitation Ingredient (discuss and agree on a solution that will address each others concerns.)
Proactive plan B. Best time to have a plan B discussion is before the heated moment.
EMPATHY STEP:
You cant blow off an explosive kids concern off the table. If you don’t understand the concern that’s fueling your child, they won’t get addressed. And they’ll continue to explode. By the way, you don’t lose ANY authority by gathering information, understanding and emphasizing. You gain a problem solving partner.
Neutral inquiry:
“I’ve noticed that you and Luke don’t get along…. Whats up.”
Then DRILL:
How so
Can you say more
Repeat what they’ve said
I don’t understand
Take your time I’m not in a rush
I’m glad we are figuring this out
We cant impose our will or brush off their concern or statement when we discuss with them.
DEFINE THE PROBLEM:
Once you completely understand your child problem, then you define it together and share your concerns with the problem. If the kid isn’t doing their homework and you figure out the reason why (I’m a slow writer and i forget what I was going to say and get frustrated). Then you share your concern (I see! Writing is hard and that is frustrating. The thing is, if you stop writing all together I’m concerned you’re never going to get better and English will continue to just be harder for you.)
INVITATION
1: Recap the first two concern.
“i wonder if there is a way for us to help you with the writing prompt. So it doesn’t take you so long and make you so mad BUT still give you practice so it won’t always be so hard for you.”
2: Do you have any ideas?
But you are a problem solving team. Don’t be a genius here. Work on it together. Solution is not predetermined.
Luke
Gosh this kid loves school so much!! It makes me really happy. He also seemed to come home and do the things I asked him to. I can’t believe how much Luke reminds me of Jaxson and Brigs reminds me of Ty. We were praying one morning and the two of them were in the same positions. It just made me laugh. I don’t know if I’ve ever said this on here or not, but Luke is so dang beautiful. So handsome. Plus he loves the girls. The older he gets the more stressed I feel about those two dynamics. But he’s SOOOO kind. It’ll work out.
Brigs!
This boy!! Holy cow he LOVES preschool. But even more than that. He LOVES biking. Ty taught him how to bike on Saturday. No training wheels or anything. Which is wild because he didn’t use the strider back all that much the last four years. He went from being able to ride his bike in circled to being able to ride 2 miles, half of it being uphill. This kid is determined and stubborn and strong. And will NOT be taken advantage of but does know how to milk it as the baby of the family.
Becca:
Wow! I felt really sad sending my boys off to school. Why are they growing up. I think next year will feel so hard for me!!! But I love them experiencing the world in safe bubbles and then coming home and talking about it with me. I realized again this week, that the thing that brings me MOST joy in my life is watching the people I LOVE do the things THEY LOVE. I just genuinely can’t stand missing it. I felt so much joy and energy watching landon in his race. Even though it made for the craziest weekend. It went to bed feeling full of rest then exhausted. We went to the temple with the YW Saturday morning and I taught on Sunday. And then I had my whole presidency and their advisors and their families over for dinner—to thank them! And that was all in between Landon’s rucking. But it all worked out and if you can believe it or not, the kitchen is clean right now. (Thank you Cheryl)
